ADVICE

If you’re like me, you have to fight procrastination. I mean, sure, it’s fun to procrastinate. Just look at a few ways I personally procrastinate:

There’s killing time playing Candy Crush instead of working. But this form of procrastination sometimes makes my carpal tunnel flare up and my finger just gets so sore! Is it really worth it?

Sometimes I spend time reading a book instead of making that important, but boring, phone call to the DMV, the insurance company, the bank, you get the picture. …

HUMOR

As I walked around this morning after my morning constitutional, I felt something on the bottom of my shoes. After removing my clodhoppers — read: tennis shoes — I turned them over and saw the culprits.

Because I live in the Arizona desert, when I walk off trail — read: in the dirt — I pick up all manner of stickers and thorns in the soles of my shoes. See the photo above for the assortment of crap I pulled out of the bottom of my shoes with tweezers just hours ago.

Tweezers, Not Just for Eyebrows

Big hairy eyebrows are all the rage these…

CHALLENGE

I can’t tell you the number of famous people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.

That’s mostly because I haven’t really met any. So shoot me.

But What About Those Authors You’ve “Met”?

Oh yeah. I’m a big reader and love to go hear authors speak about their writing process and to hear their voices and look at them in person. You know, to see the weirdness they have, because we all are weirdos.

So, in this case, yeah, I’ve met a boatload of famous people. Name drop? Who me? Okay, sure. You twisted my arm.

Here’s who — and what — I remember:

Ann Rule —…

PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS

One Man’s Junk

I recently went to one of the few thrift stores that’s open in my area.

They feature a bunch of crap outside before you head into the store (with a required mask and social distancing, or I wouldn’t shop there).

This outside area has a few tables set up, and junk is stacked high. I saw a couple of old hammers, scuffed plastic shoe boxes, a box of ugly fabric bundles, as well as at least one hundred other random things that didn’t make the cut. Read: They were too junky to go in the main store.

One of these…

Or so they think, but these people are still stupid…trust me

Just a quick note that the image shown above is not stupid. This image shows why physical distancing is so important.

When someone coughs and you’re right there, yeah, like it or not, they cough on you.

So the message here is “Stay the hell back, man!” And I might add, “Wear a friggin’ mask, dude!”

No, that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about stupid memes I see on the site that starts with an F and ends with Book. The ridiculous, self righteous memes are generally…

But do the ingrates even notice?

I just took this photo of my toaster crumb tray because each time I carefully slid the tray out of my son’s toaster I didn’t waste time taking a pic. I knew emptying / cleaning the toaster crumb tray was a task my son, daughter-in-law, and two grandkids never gave a second (or first) thought to.

So, I tried to do this little tidying up job at least once in a while, if not every time, I visited. Sometimes one of my grandkids saw me and stared, but I pretended like it was just…

Lately I’m running out of shit to do. Sure, I can list stuff in my Etsy shop, but sales have slowed. For two months (April and May) my shop was cooking with gas. Sales exploded. Then they didn’t.

I guess the combination of people staying home, stores being closed, and getting a fat check in the mail (or direct to their bank accounts) may have had something to do with the free-wheeling spending that was going on.

I don’t know. But I do know that when June hit, my sales took a hit. That’s totally unmotivating to me, so like…

We all are suffering during this pandemic.

Maybe you’re home too much, eating your way through the day.

Maybe you’re bored outta your friggin’ mind and wander the yard looking for shit you threw out of the window earlier.

Maybe you need to buy your gal an engagement ring but you don’t dare darken the doorway of the jeweler’s shop.

Have no fear! Who needs carats when you have carrots? Not you!

Carrots to the rescue!

Cut

The cut of your carrot is all important. Find a carrot that is open to taking the cut you have in mind.